Look people, a man died
He brushed his teeth at 7,
Gripped the iron bars of the subway at 8.30;
Sat in the chair he sat for 4 years at 10
And thought about ending his life near the water cooler at 12.
Now that a faceless, nameless man is dead
What killed him?
Except gravity and the curb that’s coated with his red,
I think he just ceased to exist because for once he had something in control ;
The time of death
The grisly graphics of his death
The ripples created by his death.
All in his control
Because his life was a playing field;
For his boss – who was busy vacationing in Bahamas, slurping his Pina Colada
For his parents for whom he was a money dispensing machine,
*click* drrrrrr *thank you for using our services*
For the world which can always use a doormat to clean some filth.
But the faceless, nameless man
Has now managed to splatter his unknown self in a curious fashion
A chunk here. Oh, look I can see some over there too!
But thank God he didn’t screw with the traffic ;
Presently a paramedic scoops him up hurriedly.
He’s got to go to a Knicks game at 8, you see.
– A
A profound look at suicide.
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Trivialisation of life saddens me endlessly.
Thank you for reading, means a lot. ❤
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Thanks for putting thought to word with such care and craft. This was really good! ❤
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DUDALS I LIKE THIS!!!
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Finally you like something I produce!!! FINALLYYY
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I love you
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Poverino……
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Umm I’m sorry I don’t know what this means..
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just wanted to express in a lightly my condolences for the death of the poor little man ….
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Oh…. Got it.
Lots of people die everyday, so the theme is pretty generic.
Thank you
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Wow, this got me. Powerful
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I’m so glad you connected. Thank you!
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Thank you for sharing.
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That’s cute !
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What is cute?
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Wow… loved this
Keep up the good work ! Cheers 😍
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Thank you :))
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The cookie
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Because the subject of suicide in poetry/prose is so often dramatic and emotionally-charged, this perspective is very intriguing to me. I’ve been suicidal before, and this viewpoint would have never crossed my mind in such a state. However, I’ve also experienced the shielded “just-do-your-job” feeling that allows a person to witness a stranger’s tragedy but carry on with daily life (I was an embalmer for a couple of years).
Very poignant writing, especially because it gives a glimpse into the reality of suicide from an outsider view (and I like the specific times mentioned, because time is simultaneously universal to us all but so personal to an individual). Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed reading this and thinking it over.
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As you have mentioned, I deliberately used an outsider’s viewpoint because I was looking to make this account as unemotional and distant as possible. Because that’s the way human death is treated these days. Suicide has been accepted as a reality instead of a horrible, horrible situation that needs extrication from ; but instead we sit on our butts and talk about escapism and cowardice.
That’s the irony here. By being unemotional and disturbingly unperturbed, I’m trying to highlight what exactly is wrong with our behaviour when it comes to suicide.
Apart from the reason you mentioned (I’m very happy you got it), the other reason why I used time in 1st stanza is because it showed the mundanity of his life. The man could easily be anyone.
Thank you so much for reading and connecting. I’m really proud that you’ve survived the days when it became too hard. Really proud.
❤
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Poingent and powerfully written, even a bit of a distopian feel here. A sad portrayal of the harsh reality many of us live in. Hats off to you, great ink!
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The tragic part is that this is not even remotely dystopian, this is something we live in. Maybe our reality is the dystopia our ancestors feared.
Millions of people kill themselves and that’s it. I find it extremely wrong in the scheme of things for a human to “cease” existing because fellow humans made it too hard on him/her.
Thanks for reading. ❤
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Wow! I love the way your poem progresses… A gentle brook to a raging flow to a rapid fall! I really have never had this perspective over one finally having control over something in his life! Great job.
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The fall is both metaphorical and literal. It’s surreal that you could read between the lines with such beauty.
Thank you so much, my friend. 💙
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Somehow, I feel if the reader can read between the lines, all credit should go to the writer who has done such a great job!
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Wow. This is incredibly kind of you.
*hides in a corner*
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Hahaha…
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engrossing powerful
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Hey there. Thank you.
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