“When you’re young, everything feels like the end of the world”. I remember this quote from 17 Again, and I couldn’t agree more. Think 15 and in love for the first time, think all the tears synching up with the raindrops on your windowpane, and think lying motionless for days when it was all over. Think the first time death just seemed more convenient and painless. Think the one lie that you never got over from.
When you are young everything has the potential to crush your body, crumbling you every passing moment. You feel that this is the moment when your life has no meaning, and that its just better to let the vultures get to you. Youth is an excruciating rite of passage. With all the hot blood, comes the fragility. The vulnerability. The fear. All those jumping hormones can’t teach you resilience and “bouncing back” or whatever you call it these days. They don’t. They jack you up like those characters of a Red Bull ad, sans the insight and maturity. There is this maddening tornado of conflicting emotions. You can’t seem to figure out if it’s your defensive mechanism or you’re just passively aggressive. It’s a mess. It’s inglorious, draining and too hard to deal with- all at once.
Suddenly it’s like the world is walking all over you, while you suck up your pride and lie low. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t felt like a failure at some point in his/her life. It’s only natural to feel that there’s nothing exceptional about you. Because we have been conditioned to feel ashamed of our mediocrities. Yes, tonight it may seem like you are a talentless potato with no bragging rights. It will feel like your world as you know it has begun it’s downward spiral while you sit back and watch. The sense of resignation and defeat is something that creeps up when you least expect it. But being young and naive just worsens the situation.
But if there’s one thing I’m sure about, it is that this too will pass. Remember the dread of a tooth perilously close to its final fall? Or the time the scar from falling off of your bike was the worst thing that could possibly happen to you? Or your first day of school – an institution of bereaved souls and under-paid teachers? All of these memories brought a fear of the unknown. And when we were way too young, these moments scared us witless. But we dealt with them, and here we are. Point being, that yes it hurts. Yes it’s scary and threatening. But whatever you are going through, it will be over soon.
And when you look back, all your problems will be trifles that would have fashioned you.